fun kid pics

I know the blog has been heavy on "Grace news" lately, but what can I say - she's up to a lot! Can you see, oh my goodness, what is coming into her mouth today?! She has her first loose tooth - stay tuned for her first Tooth Fairy story! (yes, that is her permanent tooth poking through behind...)Here's the little stinker at pony club last Saturday. Rita invited her to come to work with me and do all of the lessons and clinics. She loved every second of it. It was SO fun to have her at the barn with me. She's getting quite self-sufficient and it's getting to be something we can do together now - especially when it's just the two of us.

Ok, this isn't one of my kids, but I'd adopt her gladly. This is sweet Tinkerbell! She's been plastered with "pony part" labels. It was one of our clinics on Saturday. She was such a trooper to tolerate it and let the kids learn equine anatomy.
This is Grace getting to go on a real bike ride with her dad. We borrowed the trailer bike from some friends hoping to get Grace stronger and more balanced so she can shed her training wheels soon. They had a blast.
All of my little stinkers...
And, finally, definitely, my biggest "little stinker"!
(Hattie will get her turn at lots of blog stories soon. She'll have a birthday next month and she gets to go to Salt Lake to celebrate!)

an update and a biology lesson

This is probably the last time I'll blog about this. Who knows, maybe not. But, I thought I'd let people know that we got the tissue test results back today from my miscarriage. We had the doctor send it away to be analyzed so that we might figure out the cause of the miscarriage in case there was a chance we could do something to avoid it happening again.

The analysis shows that we had a trisomy 15 fetus. If you've had a biology class or two, you know what a trisomy is. If not, in a nutshell, it means that either the egg or the sperm, when it was formed from another cellular division, ended up with an extra copy of this chromosome. (You are supposed to get 1 copy of each chromosome from each parent.) Then, when the two cells combined, you have 2 copies + 1 copy = 3 for the trisomy. So, any cells produced from that combination will now have the extra copy. (Down syndrome is trisomy 21.) If you want a detailed biology lesson, click here for a good description. (sorry - the biology teacher in me is coming out now...)

Trisomies are probably the most common reason for a first trimester miscarriage. Most people just don't know that's what caused the miscarriage. It's just a mistake in cellular division and happens randomly. Some trisomies produce viable embryos that can develop and live on their own once born, like a Down syndrome baby. Others are completely lethal. Complete Trisomy 15 is 100% lethal. (there is also a mosaic trisomy 15 where only some of the fetal cells have the extra copy and those babies can be born and live.) Other trisomies have a spectrum of viability, like our friends who delivered a Trisomy 18 baby who was born at full term and lived for 23 hours last year, while others with that trisomy might live a few weeks or months or years. (ps - I am not an expert on the trisomy outcomes, but this is what I have learned from what my doctor has told me and from a little research online.)

When they do the analysis, I know that they also learn the chromosomal make up for whether it was male or female. When the doctor called today, he didn't offer that information. I was tempted to ask, but I decided not to. I don't really need to know and I don't really want to know. I've lost enough already and to know if I lost a boy or a girl will make it even more personal and hard to get over.

I did really want to know the cause and now I do. It feels very relieving to know that the problem was there from the very beginning and there is nothing that I did or that I could have done to cause or prevent the outcome. It also means that any future pregnancies have every chance of being normal that any pregnancy would. This was a random occurrance and has nothing to do with my health or activities or ability to keep trying. So, whew. We will keep trying!

p.s. Happy Birthday David

As usual, not much happens for a 30-something birthday. I did write a birthday letter to David too, but he's the only one who gets to read it. Sorry folks. However, David DID have a birthday this week too. I think it's cool that Grace gets to celebrate her birthday the same week as her dad like I do with mine. Here's to a Happy 34th babe. We love ya. (oh, yeah, and he totally bought himself a sweet birthday present, so we don't feel too bad for him.)

Totally Kickin' Party

We survived it. 8 six year olds at our house for Grace's birthday party yesterday. I know, I'm a big wimp. Some people have 8 kids at their house all the time. But, I have to say, I am just not used to it! Especially the boys - they have so much energy and take so much energy, I am completely worn out.(this was nice for the 3 minutes it lasted...the craft as they walked in the door...)

Grace wanted to have a Kung Fu Panda party. She's been planning it for months. I made her a Kung Fu Panda cake and wrote her name in Chinese (well, at least I think I did - if you can read Chinese characters, maybe you will know if I succeded! I did my best with google - I should have consulted Wendy who actually speaks Chinese.) She played Pin the Tail on the Panda with a totally awesome poster that Aunt Emmie made for her. They also did musical pillows (instead of chairs) to Kung Fu Fighting music and karate kicked a "Master Tigress" pinata. Grace served her favorite Chinese food for lunch - Teriyaki chicken sticks with sticky rice. They ate with chopsticks too. It was really quite the party. Poor Hattie just got lost in the mix. We kept forgetting about her because she was so quiet and scared of everyone. She was found sitting on the couch holding her "tail" for pin the tail on the panda long after the game was over - she never got a turn and never asked for one...

We aren't into the "invite the whole class and everyone you know", so Grace just invited her best buds from town over - most from her kindergarten class. They brought her some cool presents, including a lot of Pokemon stuff and other things that her mom knows knothing about.I'm so glad that Grace had a great time. She loved every minute of it, and only had maybe one moment of being a pouty party pooper. (She was upset that I wouldn't let her be the declared winner of the games when she won - one fairly, and one a little cheatingly.) I let her friends have prizes instead. I mean, come on, she had already stashed identical prizes for herself BEFORE the party to be sure she got what she wanted!

All I know is that Grace is one kid who loves having a birthday party. They all do, I'm sure, but she gets so into every detail and is so thrilled with every tiny thing from having balloons, to the right color candles, to the right things in the goodie bags. She's already planning her theme for her 7th birthday! I have a friend who did themed birthday parties for all her kids and now, even as grown adults, they still ask her for themed parties. I wonder how long Grace will keep doing it? I'm happy to do it as long as she wants it. Besides the exhaustion and confusion during the party, it is really fun to do for someone who really appreciates it!

Auntie Em

As I said before, Aunt Emmie came to see us and spend a few days with Grace for her birthday. We are SO glad she came. Even though it was FA-REEZING cold the whole time she was here and we really didn't do anything or go anywhere exciting, we just loved having her in our house to hang out with. The kids' favorite thing to do with her at home is to snuggle up with her on the couch, or sleep with her in bed.She helped us run lots of birthday errands, made up a game for Grace's party, entertained Grace and Hattie, and just made us feel better.

Emily was here for the actual day of Grace's birthday, which was so great. She got to come with us to the kindergarten birthday celebration. At Grace's school, you can't bring in any outside food to share with other kids, so the tradition of a birthday cupcake is totally lost. They do have a pretty neat tradition of doing a birthday book. You buy a book to donate to the class library and wrap it up so that the birthday kid can open it in front of the class. Then, they put the birthday kids' picture and name inside the book too. I got to go in and read the book to the class after she opened it. Then, they do a crazy dance celebration. It was so funny to watch! The teacher does all the classic '80's and '90's dance moves - start the lawnmower, pick the apples, spin the pizza, etc. I was dying laughing. I was glad to get to take Emily to see the class too.
For our last hurrah with Emily, we went out for a birthday dinner at one of our local favorite's - Not Your Average Joe's. David and Grace both got their birthday dinners, and to my total shock, both Grace and Hattie were on their very best behavior. It was a completely nice evening, topped off by Grace opening her family birthday presents.Taking Emily to the airport was horrible. I am always sad to see family leave, but I've gotten pretty good about not being too emotional about it. Not this time. I don't know if it was just everything that has piled up lately or what, but one more sad thing to think about was almost too much to take. I hated to see her take her suitcase and walk in the airport. I'm ok now, but I'm super glad that I am going back to Utah in a month so I have some more family to look forward to seeing soon. Thanks for coming Emily. We ALL really appreciated it.

Happy 6th Birthday Grace!

I did this last year and I think it makes a good tradition. So, Gracie, here's your birthday letter.
Dear Grace,
I love you and I hope you have a super happy birthday today.

I know that you are excited to celebrate your birthday with your Aunt Em, who flew out from SLC to see you. I know you can't wait to go to school with your birthday girl t-shirt on and open your birthday book with your class. I can't wait to come and read it to your class and see you at school on your birthday. I know you can't wait to go out to dinner with your daddy tonight and open your presents. And, I know that you are anxiously looking forward to your birthday party with your friends on Saturday.

In 6 years, you have become one of my very best friends. I can tell that you are starting to think that your mommy isn't as cool as your other friends are, but I am so glad that you still do things with me. I wish we could do more things together. I know that adding Harriet to our family has made it harder for us to be best buds, but I hope that she becomes your best bud someday too.

I love that:
you love school
you love PE at school
you check out a library book every week and read it cover to cover
you can read a chapter book cover to cover and know practically every word
you do math problems all day long for fun
you do your homework the day that you get it
you are getting lots better at saying your "k's and g's"
you make up jokes that don't make any sense, but still think they're funny
you love your friends, most of them boys
you are thriving in your karate class and getting out your strong energy
you love stuffed animals and name them all (boys' names) and think that they are characters in your own story
you are better than me at guitar hero and mario kart on the wii
you never do your hair and love having it long at the same time
you wear blue, head to toe, every day
you are not a morning person, like me (can we convince Hattie not to get up at 6:30 so we can get some sleep?)
you want to do everything with your daddy
you love nature and take your time to notice everything outside - sunsets, stars, constellations, weather, birds, plants, patterns, and everything beautiful
you hand-write long, nice notes to anyone you can think of
you make posters, signs, pictures, and notes for your dogs, and hang them above their doggie beds to tell them how much you love them
you always think of Hattie or me or Daddy when you have something that can be shared and you share it (or you get an "extra one" for everyone when you get something for yourself.)
you grow like a baby giraffe and your arms and legs get longer every day
you always give me a kindergarten smooch before you leave for school
you wish that kindergarten lasted all day
you love winter and snow and hate it when I complain about being cold
you still wear your 2007 4th of July t-shirt proudly and can't wait to for the 4th of July every year (we'll get you a new t-shirt this year)
you love to wear your University of Utah sweatshirt on the weekends like your daddy
you are your own little person and you don't let anyone else tell you how you should be

Happy 6th Birthday Grace! I can't wait for you to wake up this morning so I can read this to you. I can't wait for you to see all your presents and have a fun day all day long.

I love you.
Mommy

random thoughts

Well, it's been a week since I miscarried. I won't pretend that it's been an easy week. Sunday was the worst and it's mostly gotten better since then. I am amazed by my friends and how much they check up on me and help me out. Not only do I have lots of physical support here in MA, but I have been held up by some super great women who live 1000's of miles away too. Of course, family is always there and constant too, but it's also nice to know you're loved by people who aren't required.

Mostly, being distracted by every day life is the best way to get over anything. My girls provide plenty of distractions. Karate class, laundry, toys everywhere, moon-bounce in the living room, running errands for the first time in weeks, and potty training have taken up my week.

David is awesome. He has done so much to help me. He does dishes before going to work in the morning, shuttles the laundry up and down the stairs, makes dinner or eats leftovers when I don't feel like cooking, takes the kids, and doesn't complain. You gals should all be jealous of me.

So, the real reason I sat down to write something is that I am just so amused by Grace lately. My mom would say that she does exactly what I used to do when I was little. First of all, Grace is a pack-rat. She throws NOTHING away. Every piece of paper, every leftover kleenex box, every McDonald's toy, let alone the real stuff is a treasure. She gets rid of nothing. To throw a scrap of paper away (even if it's not hers) requires a funeral.

I'm holding a kleenex box that she refuses to let me throw away (we have several floating around the house and I have to sneak them into the recycling when she's at school - can't ever get rid of them all, or she'll notice.) This is what she has INSIDE the kleenex box:

*a plastic "gold" medal with a star on it hanging from a red/white/blue ribbon
*a plastic tiger
*a figurine of Simba from The Lion King
*a pirate telescope from McDonald's
*a miniature pirate treasure chest with a button inside
*a plastic shark
*a beaded necklace
*a rope bracelet
*a plastic spider
*another beaded necklace
*a plastic crab
*a plastic polar bear
*2 skull rings
*a plastic snow leopard
*a plastic dolphin
*a plastic baby tiger
*a seal
*4 golden coins
*a piece of felt ribbon that has "Hi!" written on it in marker
*another rope bracelet
*another plastic crab
*a turtle
*a leopard seal
*a real quarter
*her fall soccer medal

This only describes one kleenex box. Don't get me started on what is in her "home" backpack, which she takes up the stairs at night and brings downstairs in the morning, or any other container she finds empty around the house.

Not meant to be

Now that I've started the story, I guess I need to finish it. The pea in the pod was not destined to become more than that, just a pea in the pod. Now, that title of my post a few weeks ago is even more fitting than I could have thought. What was once a pea in the pod is not a pregnancy anymore. 10 weeks was all it lasted.

Again, I debated about whether to post, or how much to say. This blog is a sort of journal, but it's really not a personal one. It's more of a place to post pictures for grandmas and say what we're doing lately with a few opinions and some venting here and there. I know that my previous blog did spread the news around, so I feel like I need to do the same now. I don't want to call each individual person I know and have this conversation 20 times. At the same time, I don't mind talking about it, I just don't know who knows what and who doesn't at this point.

As it turns out, the ultrasound photo I posted would turn out to show the healthiest week in my pregnancy, if I had a healthy week. That was the only week that significant growth was measured, that a heartbeat was measurable, and that the technician didn't send me out of the room with a dead silence that you can only interpret in one way.

I have known this day was coming for weeks. I have been prepared. I have had probably at least a dozen different reasons for instinctively knowing that this was not a healthy pregnancy. Still, having "miscarriage" on my reproductive resume was nothing I thought I would ever have.

I have had a total of 5 ultrasounds with this pregnancy - once a week since I first found out I was pregnant. None of them sent me away without a feeling of uncertainty (which is why I was called back again and again to that little dark room.) The last two were the hardest to watch. It didn't take a rocket scientist to tell that the embryo had shrunken, not grown, and that the heartbeat was fading to almost nothing. It was only a matter of time.

That has been the hardest part - the time. Every week that has passed has felt like a month. Every day, I wondered if this would be the day I would start bleeding. Would this be the night David has to take me to the emergency room and we have to call some poor friend out of bed to come stay with the kids? I quit working at the barn and I quit making any big plans because I had no idea when this certain disaster would hit. I hated to give up hope and start wishing for a quick end, but the reality of the facts forced me to start doing that.

Thankfully, I was granted an easy and quick final chapter. Between last week and this week, sometime, the baby (can you even call it that?), the embryo, the mass of cells, died. Even though I knew that news was coming yesterday and we clearly saw it on the 5th ultrasound, the spoken words from the doctor were still hard to take. David choked back tears and I eventually let go in the parking lot.

My choices were few. Do nothing, wait for nature to take it's course (more waiting? more uncertainty? more emergencies in the middle of the night?), or have the surgery. Surgery next week? Surgery tomorrow? Even though David said "I'm really busy tomorrow." I said "I'm not, tomorrow is great."

I feel really really lucky. I had so much control over the last part. We had a wonderful friend take the girls today. David was with me. The procedure was unbelievably short and painless, and I actually didn't feel too terribly bad afterwards either. The doctor gave us a lot of reassurance that I made the right decision to have surgery today. He said after seeing how much tissue there was, that I would have ended up doing an emergency surgery anyway. When I first woke up from the anesthetic, I didn't know where I was or why, but in that same instant the reality exploded in front of me and I had my turn to lose it one more time. Since then, I have really been ok. Close friends have called, family has called and sent flowers, and Julie even sent us home with dinner when we picked up the girls. (Should I say that David was insane and KEPT our appointment to feed the missionaries tonight? I told him he should just give them money to go out to dinner, but he really wanted to do it. He tended the kids, cleaned up the house, and cooked and served dinner while I hid in my room. He deserves lots of husband and daddy medals today.)

There are many more details I could share. I'd rather share some with certain people and others with other people. But I will say that I am ok, things are going to be ok, and we know we'll try again.

ps- I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has helped us through the past few weeks. I know that many have prayed and have offered their service. Even though the outcome wasn't the best, I know that prayers were answered and I know I made it through because of them.

Butterflies

Hattie is finally getting over her walking pneumonia. The sun has now been shining brightly for 2 days, and I couldn't take one more morning of tv/markers and paper/fighting/staring at my computer. I got up this morning and decided to take the little stinkers on an outing.

Our choices were pretty limited. It's still really cold, and Hattie's not quite all the way better, so outside things were off limits. Everything else that is fun and not a germ pool would be in Boston, but there are a few small places in our neck of the woods where you can go to enjoy yourself indoors without touching too many germy things or spending tons of money. One of them is the Butterfly Place. (but it's still a 35 minute drive...)

(3 blue morpho butterflies sitting on a bench together. I thought they looked so cool. They have gorgeous blue irridescent wings on the inside, but they fly really fast and it is hard to get a good picture of them until they land - which is when they immediately close their wings!)

We have been there once before, but Hattie was only a baby. They just opened on Valentine's Day for the season so their flowers and plants are just starting out and it wasn't as lush and gorgeous as it is later in the year. Still, the butterfly room is heated to 85 degrees (YES!) and has fresh dirt, fresh plants, and beautiful butterflies and birds.

Both girls were so SCARED that a butterfly would land on them. I tried to tell them that butterflies don't bite, that they only give you a little kiss. Hattie did end up with a butterfly kiss, but Grace says she's grateful that none kissed her.

(this picture will NOT rotate the right way... but, it is one of my favorites from today.)

We spent a glorious warm hour in the room watching the butterflies go about their business and then the girls went to the gift shop to spend the little handful of dollars they got for Valentine's day from their grandmas.

There were still a few fights and plenty of screaming in the car, but at least it was a change of venue. Thank you butterflies!(an Asian leaf walker bug. It looks almost identical to the leaves it stays on - great camo job!)

(the chrysallis room - you can see all the butterflies in various stages of coming out - some are already out. they keep them in the room until they determine they are healthy enough to be let out with the other butterflies because many come from foreign countries and can transmit disease and also carry parasites and larvae of unwanted foreign bugs. we learned a lot.)

Winter, you are NOT welcome

here anymore.

I haven't blogged for a couple of weeks. There has been nothing noteworthy to say for so long. I feel absolutely BLAH. I'm not happy, I'm not really sad, I just don't feel like anything. I don't feel like doing something fun, I don't feel like going anywhere - I even have my groceries delivered, but at the same time, I am SICK of staying home, I don't feel like cleaning or organizing or crafting or reading or cooking or anything. I have the worst winter blues.

I haven't had winter blues since we moved here. I always got a case of it when we lived in Salt Lake under the grey inversions and disgusting winter smog. But, here, winter is actually pretty sunny and clear, so my mood follows that.

This winter, probably officially started for us with that ice storm that I don't care to reference again. That was followed by so many weeks of minus degree or barely 10 degree weather and storm after storm after storm. Those things combined have left us with a popsicle for a house - our roof and yard around the house buried in 4 inches of ice. The ice dam got so bad that the water started coming in and has now ruined the ceiling in the mudroom.

Still, in the midst of it all, I was grateful that we actually stayed pretty healthy. I couldn't believe that in the worst winter I can remember, no one had a cold or the flu or anything. I thought that too soon. Now that the weather is finally starting to break - above freezing, yay! - we are SICK. Hattie has had a series of colds. I had a pretty good one a few weeks ago, and now we're on another round. Harriet went to urgent care Friday night to find out that she has walking pneumonia. Grace woke up this morning with gallons of snot in her head. (So, we're staying home from church - again.) I feel like crap all the time anyway being pregnant. I am so sick of sitting on my red couch blowing noses!!! My dogs are going completely nuts. They ask to go outside every 10 minutes and continually bring me a ball or something to ask "CAN YOU PLEASE PLAY WITH US???" I took them for a short walk to the bridge the other day, but that was all I could muster.

Will we ever get to go outside again? I relish the short few weeks when winter is breaking before the spring rain and BUGS start up. I fear I will have to wait until August now to actually enjoy going outside. I am totally claustrophobic and just need to get out of here! I am really looking forward to our trip to Salt Lake in April. The weather better be 100% fantastic during our short excursion for Grace's spring break.

I guess that's all the venting I need to do. Here is a totally cute picture of Hattie pretending to go somewhere. She does this all the time - gets all dressed up to leave and tells me she's going to the store or to a party. Poor kid.

hie-yah!

Grace has taken her fascination with China/Asian things one step further. She's now totally into martial arts. She started a karate class a few weeks ago with her best friend Eamon. She was excited to the bones to get her "gi" (outfit) this week and anxiously awaits her next class. They do lots of athletic drills as well as teaching all the traditional karate moves. This has been such a great thing for her. It is so awesome to watch her do something that she loves. Hattie needs a class too - she waits patiently during Grace's karate class, but you can just see how much she wants to be part of the action. I think we'll wait until fall when she starts pre-school to find the right class for her. She is so athletic and nimble, she'd be good at just about anything and she loves anything that involves moving her body. If the dance teacher resurfaces, I'd love to see them both back in dance, but that may not happen. Guess we'll wait and see.

All the nerds in the house stand up...

Everyone knows that David and I are nerds. We loved school, we love science, we are good at math (well, some of us USED to be good at math.) But, I think the people who appreciate my nerdiness the most are my former Chemistry students. My nerdiness validates theirs. (I'm a normal person, right?) A very few of them are now my friends.

My friend Adrienne has always been a person I admired. I have admired her since I first met her as a high school student. If she reads this I know she'll be totally embarrassed, but that's what happens when you make friends with your teacher! She was (is) a model student. She plunged into the work, retried everything until it was perfect, and never failed to ace every single test or task that was given her. I have her handwriting emblazoned in my memory. It was flawless, a work of art. I could have used her tests for a key to grade the rest. I'm not exaggerating in the least when I say that either. She confessed the other day that she and another star student took on the task of teaching one of the most difficult subjects in AP chemistry to the class when I was on maternity leave and the sub had no idea where to begin. (I still feel guilty that she got "the bum" year of my teaching for her AP class. I did not do a very good job that year with my pregnancy.) Not only is Adrienne a stellar student, but she is also a great person. I remember thinking she was so on top of her game in every way in high school. She was not only good at academics, but she played sports, had lots of friends, and had her head on straight.

Adrienne is in her last year at the University of Utah. She majored in chemistry. (what else?) She says she did it because of me. I actually feel bad sometimes that she has subjected herself to one of the toughest majors possible for a pre-med student at the U. I am in awe though. Her knowledge and ability in chemistry surpassed mine a long time ago. She is now in the process of applying to medical school and has received invitations to interview at every top school to which she applied. She's interviewing at Yale tomorrow (decided she was too good for Harvard :-) )

Why do I tell all of this story? I don't know really. She has become a significant part of my life in recent months as we have communicated frequently and spent some quality time together. I think it might also be because on some level I am really proud of Adrienne. Saying I'm proud of her makes it feel like I'm taking a little of the credit for what she has done. But, she is so phenomenal, I don't think any credit is due me since she would have been totally incredible with or without me as her teacher. So I don't know what the right word is. Still, it's flattering to think that she was my student and I might have influenced her in some way. I'm so excited that she calls me her friend now. She has forced me to become better at texting and reminds me of the things I used to be good at and care about.

She was in Boston last week interviewing at Boston University. She forged through a really terrible storm after the interview to come and see me. I picked up a wet and frozen girl from the commuter train station and we had a fantastic night together. We ate at a quaint little grille in Concord, drove around to see some of the historic sites, and came back to my house for a quick "meet the family."

We thankfully remembered to take a picture of us together (although I wish we had remembered in Concord.) David suggested taking one in front of my periodic table that still hangs in the playroom. I thought that sounded the nerdiest of all, but it is definitely fitting.

So, I guess I write all this to say "THANKS" to Adrienne for being my friend, making me feel like I might have made a difference in someone's life, and for loving to be a nerd with me. I selfishly hope that she accepts an invitation to do med school here in Boston.

Top Ten 2008

My parents have been doing this for years and Michelle and I have talked about it. I have even blogged about it. But, for one reason or another it never seems to make the blog. So without further ado, here is the Top Ten for 2008 (in no particular order):

1. The year of vacation. We enjoy a week long ski vacation in Vermont and Grace has fun (even while running a high fever) in ski school. Even Michelle and I take some group lessons while poor Hattie isn't quite old enough to hit the slopes.
2. Harriet starts talking. At the beginning of the year she didn't say much, but by the end she was talking in complete sentences and has become quite a tease. She can also throw a good temper tantrum. She is a little monkey and is babbling most the day. Talking is like walking, you want it to happen until it does!
3. Continuing the vacation theme... We have a family reunion in SLC and this is the first time in 10 years that my entire family has all been together. It was great fun and Grace enjoyed playing with her cousins and still talks about funny Uncle John. We also get to spend time with all of Michelle's family.
4. We get to fly (well not quite) an airplane on our way back to MA from the family reunion. This was a very nice gesture from the NorthWest crew. As we entered the plane, the pilot asked if Grace and Harriet would like to see the cockpit. While Michelle stayed with the kids, I took our stuff to our seats. I get everything situated when over the intercom comes, "Would David Chapman seated in ... please come to the front of the plane. And, bring your camera!" I get up there and Grace and Harriet are sitting in the cockpit sits steering the plane and the crew takes our picture in the cockpit. I highly recommend NorthWest (hopefully the Delta merger won't change this), but they have always been extremely nice to us when we have traveled with kids.
5. Cape Cod. We had lived here for 3 1/2 years before we finally made it to the Cape, but now we have been there twice, once in August and again for Thanksgiving. It was a lot of fun as we went with friends both times and even Michelle says, "I think I could live here." Too bad my salary won't afford it!
6. Grace graduates from pre-school (oh yeah) and starts kindergarten. This child is so ready for school to start. It is the highlight of her day and she has even cried when she found out she was having a snow day. While I am sure that part will change, I hope that she continues to enjoy school and continues to make friends. The best part about all of this, the bus, it picks and drops her off right from our side door. Michelle doesn't have to even get out of her pajamas.
7. Michelle becomes involved with YouthLinc. She was involved with this as a teacher in Utah and through a convolution of different items has started a satellite branch here in MA. Right now she is helping three youth in the area perform community service and fund raising so that they can go to Peru this summer. A lot of work and fundraising isn't fun in this economic climate (in case you want to donate). But, hopefully she will get it off the ground and going.
8. David is rear-ended on his way home from work and his Subaru Outback is totaled. It was a sad day. I really liked that car and I still wish I was driving it. I usually agonize for weeks before spending a hundred dollars, but in this case I buy a 2005 Outback in about a day. New car is definitely not my old Subaru, and that is both good and bad.
9. December ice storm. One Friday morning in December (the day I was going to buy a ticket to the Sugar Bowl), we are awakened by Harriet throwing up in bed at 4 AM. Shortly thereafter the power goes out. After another 30-45 minutes we here an alarm sound and I go to investigate and discover several inches of water in our basement. After it is all said and done, we had 6" of water in the basement and we are $1000 poorer after purchasing a generator to run the sump pumps. Thus, no Sugar Bowl for me. However, we can now weather the storm in luxury with heat, water, and internet. What more do you need?
10. David getting called to be the second counselor in the bishopric. This was a big change and we are still adjusting. So far, it has been more of a blessing than a curse, but we are still adjusting to new Sunday schedules and me sitting up on the stand during meetings.

A Pea in the Pod

(I changed the title of this post after my sister, Melissa, called me and said "I saw your pea in your pod." It's much more fitting...)Well, I'm a big blabber mouth and some people already know this, but I think it's time to make an official announcement. I'm pregnant! Yep, we're on our way to having a 3rd child.

I had a positive pregnancy test a little more than 2 weeks ago. We've been trying since last summer, so it was exciting news. I immediately called the doctor to get things rolling and I was really surprised when they asked me to come in for an ultrasound in one week. I was expecting the old "well, let's schedule you to see the nurse in a few weeks and the doctor a few weeks after that." I was supposed to be 7 weeks pregnant for the first ultrasound, but after looking at the structures, they thought I was only maybe 5 weeks. That was last Tuesday. So, they asked me to come in AGAIN in a week. I went this morning for my second.
Today, the baby structure was more visible and you could clearly see a heart beating on the screen. It was really cool. You really couldn't see much of anything else, but the heart was totally there. They said you shouldn't be able to detect a heart beat until 7 weeks, but everything measured 6 weeks and 4 days. I'm blown away that you can get that accurate about it. The heartbeat was slow, but they said since it shouldn't even have a heart beat yet, they don't know what that means - probably that it's just an early heart beat. SO, I have to go in AGAIN for ANOTHER ultrasound next week! I'm floored. I have never heard of anyone having 3 ultrasounds before they were even 8 weeks pregnant (unless they were doing in-vitro kinds of stuff.) I'm hoping that they're doing all of this just because they want to get a really accurate due date. Considering my history of having pre-term labor and early babies and now it's my 3rd and I'm no spring chicken anymore, I'm thinking they just want to be sure about counting the weeks. When you get to the end, every day counts if you're facing a premie. I'm also really hoping my 100% maternity coverage on my health insurance holds true!

So, as of today, I have a due date of September 18th. This means I'll probably have a baby on the first day of school. (how convenient. NOT.)

I have gone back and forth about announcing this on the blog and really spreading the word. I know lots of people who wait until the 3rd or 4th month just to be safe and be sure that a miscarriage isn't in the cards. With Grace and Hattie I got so sick so fast that there was no way to hide a pregnancy for more than a day. I had to tell everyone why I was absolutely no good for anything and heading to the bathroom every 20 minutes. But, with this one, I haven't been sick yet. I know - that may or may not be a good sign. (maybe it's a boy?) Still, I want to tell everyone because no matter the outcome, this is a part of my life right now. I am pregnant and I do feel like crap (even though I haven't thrown up yet.) I'm not really worried - just unsure. It was comforting to see the heartbeat today, and comforting to know it was early - a sign of strength? But, also disconcerting that it was a low rate. Who knows what it all means. You can make yourself crazy with all the what if's and possible scenarios. Every doctor's visit can send your mind on a rollercoaster of thoughts and I have spent more than my fair share of time doing that with past pregnancies. For now, I'm just living in the moment and happy to be carrying a little life and everyone who knows me should know that I am.

kids and stuff

The MLK holiday on Monday proved to be our 3rd day at home, all together, with nothing to do. The picture of Grace and David (below) playing Guitar Hero was taken at like 9am on Sunday morning. The day went downhill from there. (when you've already played wii for 2 hours and it's 9am, your options run out quick!) Cooped up in 4 walls day after day gets ugly fast. Harriet is also going through a MELT DOWN stage and has about 5 good ones a day. So, Monday, I decided I just couldn't take a repeat of the last 2 days and said "EVERYBODY OUT!"

The kids and David started the day by snowblowing and shoveling the driveway. This is Hattie's new favorite thing to do. She has her own shovel too. We also have a big enough snow pile again that we have our own little sledding hill so we took a few runs of Chapman Hill. We really should go over to Jeanne's house across the street - she has a long, wicked hill down to the river bank.After shoveling and sledding (me still in my PJ's under snow gear), we decided to head to the barn for some nose petting. The ponies had icecicles hanging from their fur. BRRRRR. Poor Tinky. We actually bought her a really nice winter blanket a couple years back, but she keeps ruining it. Still, it's so cozy to run your hands through the thick winter coat of a pony in the winter and snuggle their muzzle. Sometimes, I still want a horse, but not enough to actually have one right now (thankfully, David says.)Things were going well until Hattie's melt-down in Ace hardware on the way home. She wanted to buy TWO birds (that means ALL of them.) She had her arms totally full headed to the check-out. Are you kidding me? They were so lucky to get to buy one a piece! (little audubon stuffed birds that have real bird sounds in them - we have a collection.) Yes, I can say no too. I had already said no to the $9 each ice block molds.

Then, it was again, an afternoon and evening full of contention and no place to go. School and work were a welcome reprieve for David and Grace on Tuesday. David even snuck out of town and left us all here to fight it out!

Tuesday evening, Grace went to her first Taekwondo class. She's extremely into martial arts right now (China thing) and is dying to take a class. We went to try one out. We're trying another place out tomorrow. She did all the stances, punches, and kicks. She was really good at it. Since her dance teacher flaked out on us in November, she hasn't had a good physical outlet. So, this will be good until we make a decision about finding a new dance place (or not.)

Grace also brought home "Dogsled Dude, the Penguin" from school. I guess this is the new thing at school - to pass around a school sponsored stuffed animal all year and write about the things you do with it before you pass it on again. When "Honey Bear" came home from pre-school late last spring, and we were one of the last families to get him, he was in pretty bad shape and terribly dirty and gross. It took the energy in every cell of my being to stop myself from having Honey Bear's first "activity" at our house in the washing machine with the appropriate picture of me holding him by the toe with 2 fingers as I dropped him in the washer. My mom pointed out that he might not come out alive and get ruined. So, we kept the grungy little guy and journaled our weekend with him. Dogsled Dude has a similar past, I think. He's a little cleaner than Honey Bear, but oh, I want to give him a bath! Penguins swim, right? I resisted again, fearing that we would be his undoing and we've been logging his activities with us. We really didn't go anywhere today (except I went to be the room mom at Grace's class) so he's been a couch potato. He did get to do the moon-bounce last night and he's met all of our audubon birds. Hattie keeps taking him from Grace (more melt-downs.) Grace will be sad when she has to take him back to class tomorrow.Oh, Hattie will now wear a pony tail when her hair gets in her face and is all static clingy. At least she knows pony tails have a function, even if she doesn't understand how cute they are!
Well, I guess that's all I've got for now.

proof

that we are the heathens we say we are (we've never tried to hide it):

What does the 2nd counselor in YOUR bishopric do when church is canceled? Here's what ours does:
Come on, I mean, we have 2 tiny kids who got up at 6:15am this morning. I meticulously got ready for church last night so that I could get them ready on my own this morning. Had the clothes all laid out, the bags ready to go with activities, snacks, scriptures, and books. Then, it has to snow on the day we are actually ready to go to church!!! David even got up and got dressed to the tie and got the cars warmed up before they made the call to cancel. The one day we are prepared, got up early, and would have been ready and on time with time to spare.

As David says, he is just spending quality time with his daughters. Can't argue with that one. I can't think of anything else I'd rather have him be doing at any time on any day. If we're heathens, then maybe the word needs to be redefined.

Dude, I feel your pain.

That was my comment to Jared when I texted him with news that I had just been called into my ward's Bishopric. It was the same weekend as the ice storm that did so much damage around New England and while we were spared from most of that trauma, I had no idea what awaited me. Jared has been in his ward's bishopric for 4+ years and I know that he had required sacrifice on his and Tara's part. Things were going to be similar for me and Michelle...

After getting our generator hooked up the power came back on Friday night. Despite the damage and the fact that many were still without power we decided to go ahead with a previously scheduled activity with the young men to take them flying. That turned out to be a lot of fun as we flew about 30 minutes to an airport west of were we lived, landed, ate lunch at the airport cafe, and then returned.

As I walked in the door, Michelle said, "Well I guess that you aren't quite the heathen you thought you were! President Durham called and wants to meet with us tomorrow morning." I immediately knew what was going to happen. Even though I tried to convince myself otherwise I knew that there was a vacancy in the Bishopric and my Sundays were going to change.

A month into being in the Bishopric and so far so good. I really enjoy working with Bishop Gentile and the other members of the bishopric and it has been a good experience for me personally as well as my family.

As I was spreading the news to family and friends I was touched by the response I got. Jared was very practical and gave me advice and how to be a good counselor. My dad was moved to tears and while I am sure he was disappointed that he wasn't around to ordain me a High Priest, he was extremely happy that I had received this calling. He told me that it would be an incredible learning experience and humbling as he pointed out one of my shortcomings and said I would need to work on overcoming that challenge.

Of course, I have many shortcomings and need help with many things. And while I can indeed say, "dude, I feel your pain" to all those bishopric members out there, I am also beginning to see the blessings of service to those around me.

Bye bye Sweet Sugar

I have been thinking about this post for awhile. I still am a little bummed about the whole affair and I think that is why I have let a few weeks go by without posting anything. Life is interesting in the twists and turns that it takes and the end to 2008 was no different.

On Thursday, December 11th, I went to bed having decided that I was going to go to the Sugar Bowl eventhough it looked like I was going to be heading down by myself. I was excited thinking that the Utes had a good chance and promising after the Fiesta Bowl of 2005 that I wouldn't miss another opportunity to see the Utes in a BCS game if it happened again. Of course, Michelle has posted about what happened on December 12. As Grace said, "Well this sucks!" Indeed it did. Instead of waking up for work and waiting to buy tickets online, my day started at 4 AM with a flooded basement, a sick child, and a rush to Home Depot. With the water rising and getting near our furnace the decision was made to buy a generator. I got to Home Depot about 20 minutes after they opened and they had already sold out most of their generators. Long story short, $900 later I had a generator and was running the essentials in the house, but instead of sweet, sweet sugar, I was dealing with some raw power. In the end I guess it worked out. Instead of the satisfaction and high of the biggest Ute victory, I get the satisfaction of knowing if (when) we have another ice storm I'm all set. I can power our well pump, furnace, refrigerator, tv, and internet. What more do you need?

I also got to watch the game with my brother Brian. That turned out to be fun and we enjoyed watching in HD from the comfort of my living room. While it was fun to watch the game and see the Utes dominate a "strong" SEC opponent, it was bittersweet. Over the last couple of weeks I have read a lot of sports writers around the country and the Utes still don't have the respect they deserve. While it was nice to reap the rewards of a big BCS payout it really is shallow knowing that the Utes will never get a chance for a national championship. I am a proponent of a 16-team playoff. Reduce the regular season to 11 games and then only 2 teams will play 15 games (1 more than most play now). The bowls games can still be in play for the majority of the teams left out of the playoff and the big bowls can be used for the 16-teams to maintain semi-neutral playing field. Of course it won't happen since those in power with all the money see no reason to spread the wealth.

Now when is it that someone besides from the PAC-10 will be playing home-and-away game with the Utes? Yeah, that is what I thought.

What they're up to now:

I was just thinking about how much growing up has happened in our house during 2008 and went back to my post in January 2008 to see how far we've come. This one is for the books (and the Grandmas.)

Grace is:
*still being driven crazy by Hattie
*sharing a room with Hattie
*loving her new ipod and all the music freedom it brings (meaning she can listen to her favorite songs over and over whenever she wants.) She also has lots of pictures and a family slide show on it that she likes to watch.
*playing with playmobile toys "playmo" as she calls them
*dressing herself for school
*wearing the color blue, head to toe, every day (this helps with her dressing herself. Her very favorite color is blue, she always wants to wear it, so ALL of her school clothes, outerwear, and everything she was sent for Christmas are blue.)
*still not doing her hair, but will now let me blow dry her bangs with a round brush so that she doesn't have "ski jump" bangs for school
*getting some loose front teeth
*my WEED. It's my new nick-name for her since her legs and arms just shoot out of her clothes and she's starting to look like a baby giraffe.
*loving kindergarten. She and her friend Eamon are the only ones who did NOT want the snow day yesterday. Her teacher told them to wear their jammies inside out and backwards and sleep with a spoon under their pillow to hope for a school cancellation. Grace wore her jammies the right way, no spoon.
*loving her friend Eamon. He and she do everything together at school and they are anxiously awaiting their next play date.
*finally used to the school bus, but still waves at us the whole time the bus backs up, turns around, and drives back down the road. Hattie and I get cold while we stand and wave back.
*reading fluently, just about anything.
*doing really well in school.
*going to speech therapy once a week at school. Her "K" sound is getting much better and we're hoping they'll get to the "G" sound before the end of the year so that her name changes from Drace to Grace.
*drawing or writing something nearly all day long no matter what else she's doing on the side
*into anything Chinese after seeing the movie Kung Fu Panda and watching the Olypmics held in China. She loves Chinese food (particularly Teriyaki chicken on a stick), chopsticks, writing, symbols, dragons, books, and plans to have a Kung Fu Panda/Chinese theme for her birthday party.
*missing the Binghams in Primary (she got new teachers this year after having the Binghams since Sunbeams)
*getting an allowance - $10 a month
*paying her tithing - now she gets to give it to her daddy!
*saying reluctant prayers that go something like "thankful for this day, thankful for............(finally she will think of one or 2 things), please bless that I will sleep and have a good day tomorrow....
*trading every other day for feeding her FAVORITE dog, Velvet. She feeds Velvet on odd days and Shadow on even days.
Hattie is:
*loving her sister
*a big girl in a big girl bed in a big girl room with Grace
*speaking, articulately, talking incessantly all day long in long complicated sentences.
*saying "you just never know" at odd times during the day
*singing the ABC song all the way through with all the letters
*counting to 12 by herself
*drawing on anything in her immediate surroundings, no matter how much paper is given to her
*not quite potty trained, but might be if her mom tried harder
*loving BABIES BABIES BABIES - real or dolls, it doesn't matter
*excited that she got the moon bounce for Christmas and tells everyone that Santa brought her a moon bounce and a baby bottle
*dressing and undressing herself
*still showering with mommy most mornings, but isn't so insistent on it
*a demon when she's tired
*an angel when she's in a good mood
*2 going on 16
*extremely photogenic and has a million dollar smile - (it's not just us, everyone says so.)
*wishing she could go to school - she might get her wish next year much to her mother's dismay (this will require potty training though!)
*loving her "class" at church, finally, she will go to nursery and stay by herself
*saying prayers that used to list every family member she could think of (extended family too), now she is down to "sank you for Gracie, amen." She is truly thankful for this one person in her life. Grace wishes she didn't love her quite so much.
*still on the OCD wagon. Her night-time, planets aligned, routine is a bit exhausting
*into anything that involves dancing, singing, music, or jumping
*watching Curious George every morning with Grace before school and then watches Sid the Science Kid after. (for the record, I do NOT like Sid the Science Kid - Curious George is a MUCH better science show. Oh well, she's only 2!)
*addicted to apple juice and will never get potty trained as long as she insists on drinking it as she goes to bed
*eating a very boring diet of cheerios, quesadillas, ramen, chicken nuggets, apples, and green beans. Oh, she'll eat soup too.
*listening to the same song in the car over and over and over and over. It's "Radio Song" by Super Bus. She calls it "sunny sunny" because it is sung in French and she can't understand what they're saying.
*excited about her new snow shovel so she can help Grace and Daddy at night.
*a good helper! She folds laundry, does dishes, cleans the bathroom, and picks up. I wish she was big enough and old enough to actually be able to do the whole chore by herself. I dread she will outgrow the desire to help before she's big enough to do it. She can actually set the table all by herself.
*trading feeding Velvet and Shadow. She feeds Velvet on even days and Shadow on odd days.

Out with the... in with the...

Hi 2009. We're saying good-bye to 2008. It was a good year, it served us well, but maybe we can do better? Maybe we'll do worse. Who knows. We started by saying good-bye to some holiday visitors yesterday. David's brother Brian, his wife Wendy, and their kids Alec, Clare, and Jeremiah, AND their puppies Argos and Helios, came to visit us for New Year's. 9 people, 4 dogs, our tiny house? SURE! (we know Shadow pooped on your floor when we came to your house... I guess we can overlook Argos peeing on our Christmas tree! But, Helios, we'll be sending you a bill...)Originally David and Brian were supposed to meet up here to go to the Sugar Bowl together. After some expensive household happenings that ate up all their trip money, they settled for watching the game at our house with family. GO UTES!!!Brian and Wendy's clan lived in Salt Lake for a few years when we were first married. We got to be good friends with them. In fact, I remember babysitting 4 month old Clare before David and I were even married. They introduced us to lots of things as a new couple from Mediterranean dining at the Cedars of Lebanon Restaurant, to cooking restaurant quality ethnic food at home, to being parents (which is why Grace was born almost 6 YEARS AFTER we got married), and to being happy as a couple. We missed them terribly when they moved to Pittsburgh, but since we have moved to New England, we see them a bit more often now that we can make the drive in a day.

Their kids have grown up. We didn't spend much time with them between the 5 year old stage and the teen-age stage, so I feel like I kind of missed out. But, they are still great kids and we were happy to have them visit. Grace was thrilled to play with Jeremiah for 3 straight days. Hattie loves her cousin Clare and is no longer terrified of Alec.

We did a few fun things while they were here. The weather wasn't too cooperative with a blizzard on New Year's Eve and bone chilling cold the other days. We went horse back riding on the blizzard day. The whole family went to our barn and got on a horse for a trail ride. We weren't able to make it too far down the trails due to our assortment of riding abilities and the trail conditions, but we did ride out in the back fields until Alec's toes nearly fell off from cold. (this didn't take long - silly teenager out in a blizzard with no warm clothes on!) It was awesome for me to see both my kids on horses at the same time. Hattie on Peppe and Gracie on Tink.
David and I didn't ride so that we could lead the non-riders, but Grace and Hattie did an awesome job at guiding the line of horses through the ride. Brian kept telling us "cold" stories he had read about while they rode. I made a mental note to read those in JULY. I think our ride may have made it into the "coldest stories ever told" category for some of them. Rita was awesome and helped us through it and took great pictures for us.

Later on that night, we tried to fool the kids into thinking it was midnight at 10pm. Our little clock-watcher Grace was much wiser. She knew we were full of it and insisted on staying up to see the ball drop at Times Square. How does she even know about that? It's a hard thing to fake it when you live in the same time zone as Times Square. If you live out West, you can get video feed of it earlier than midnight! ALL the kids, stayed up PAST midnight. They rang in the fake New Year with a fake champagne (sparkling cider) toast at 10pm (they don't look to happy do they?) Then, they did watch the ball drop 2 hours later. So much for the adults having margaritas in peace at midnight. On New Year's Day, we had our traditional brunch and just spent the day hanging out and eating. We went on a double date that night and left the kids home with their cousins. It was SO nice to get out and also to be with Brian and Wendy. They make great conversation and are fun to eat with. We ended up at the Colonial Inn in Concord. We've never eaten there before, but have visited the spot a few times. It's one of the original Inns from the days of the revolutionary war - built in 1716. A very New England thing to do. Glad we finally did it!Speaking of things to do in New England, we did venture into Boston on their last day here. As we gave them the driving tour, David realized how many things there are in Boston that we have NOT seen or done yet. Our list of excuses for being such home-bodies is long and mostly legitimate. But, it mostly boils down to the amount of energy it takes to change my moment of inertia from "stuck at home" to "out on the town." The energy barrier is just far too great most of the time. But, we are running out of excuses at the moment, so maybe we'll see more of Boston in 2009 (does that sound like a resolution? hope not because that will doom it.)

We did stop at Harvard Square to eat lunch and visit the book-store (any bookstore is a favorite haunt of Brian's) and bought some cool cheap jewelry in another little shop. It was a perfect outing considering the diversity of our group - restless children, bored teenagers, and parents who are up for anything that's not too painful or expensive.

Saying good-bye to everyone yesterday was hard as good-byes usually are. Even our dogs are depressed that their "cousins" are gone since they got to join in on the 2x a day walks with Argos and Helios. Grace never likes things to change. She is bummed that 2008 is over too. But, we did have to say good-bye to Christmas, good-bye to the Christmas tree as we threw it out yesterday for recycling, good-bye to our family, and good-bye to a year that was really, actually, pretty great to us in whole even if turmoil did swirl around us as so many things in the world were not well and so many of our family and friends suffered hardships. We have some fantastic memories though. I hope David will do our 2008 year-in-review slideshow soon.