Diary of a Cyclist's Wife... Iron Horse

I decided to start a series of posts about David's adventures (from my perspective, of course.)  I know he intends to blog about his stuff, but just doesn't get around to it.  If you want the testosterone version with all the gory details, you're going to have to do your own, my dear.

David and I do not function on the same wavelength when it comes to extracurricular activities.  It's no secret after 16+ years together.  But, we've at least learned to make our wavelengths sync in a productive way instead of causing interference so much like they used to.  Over the years, he has found ways to become supportive of my equine addiction, is even sweet about it sometimes.  I have found ways to support his cycling life.  In the process, I've earned CWE status (Coolest Wife Ever) and he, in turn, allows me tons of freedom when I want to spend a morning, day, week, or month at the barn or ranch.  David often makes up for any absence from home and family by being a generally great contributor to the household too.  When some wives cringe at the mention of their husbands going out to do something "because they haven't seen him all week and/or need him to help", I (usually) think it sounds like a great idea and a well-deserved break.  I mean, the guy even does the dishes more than half the time.  I often hear the dishes getting put away while I'm still in bed and he is heading out to work at 6am.  He doesn't bat an eyelash when I say I'm heading out to meet friends, go to book club, or even get on a plane.  He takes the kids to lessons when needed, or rides as fast as he can to get home from work, so that Harriet doesn't have to go with us to Grace's lessons.  He cooks dinner on the weekends.  Stuff like that.  He more than earns his adventures.  

So, when he says things like "I'm going mountain biking Wednesday night after work" or "I'm heading on a bike-packing trip in June."  I barely even flinch.  It's gotten so bad that half the time I don't even know where he is going that day.  I found out the hard way a couple weeks ago that he and I need to be more careful about that.  I had no idea where to even begin to look for his car, let alone David and co. when his friend's wife called one night in a panic that they weren't back from an evening mountain bike ride yet.  I would have been looking on the wrong side of the mountain for a very long time if he hadn't popped into cell range when he did.

I do perk up and listen more closely if I need to be involved in some way, and he's learned to make it more fun for me to be involved too.  (Like, don't ask me to train and get in shape to accompany you on a century road ride, or bike from here to timbuktu on a single track mountain bike trail.)  But, sure, I'll do a full moon ride with you and the kids at White Sands, ride to the park, or hang out at the Marriott in Durango while you kill yourself biking to the top of Silverton!

Speaking of... David decided he wanted to do the Iron Horse bike race over Memorial Weekend when a friend invited him to join their team.  Having just been to Durango in December for the first time, I knew it was a place I'd love to visit again, this time, in the summer.  We decided to make a little summer vacation weekend out of it and take the girls up to swim, go out to dinner, and play at Durango Mountain Resort.  

After a long afternoon swim, we cleaned up and ate at our favorite place, Steamworks, and then headed back to the hotel to shave the cycling legs.  I just kept having these images pop into my head of him crashing down the steep descents and ending up with major road rash with all that hair on his legs.  We discovered that the venus razor wasn't cut out for a maiden voyage up the hairy calves, so I ended up at walmart at 10pm for an electric hair trimmer and a few more razor cartridges.  We did finally get him all slicked up and ready to ride.

(daddy/daughter synchronized swimming)

David woke up early to head out to the starting line.  The Iron Horse is basically a race against the train from Durango to Silverton, CO.  The bikes start when the train whistle blows.  Our Marriott room was just around the corner from the train station, so he rode over and I followed a little later with the kids in the car to try to catch the start of the race.  We were slow to get over there and just barely got to the corner in time to see the train take off.  I never saw David (Grace says she did), but he was well ahead of the train pretty quickly.  We followed it down main street for a bit and then turned around to get ready for our day playing at the ski resort.

While David rode the 50 miles (mostly a ragged uphill ride and dangerously down some steep spots on the passes) from Durango to Silverton, we drove up to the Durango Mountain Resort.  That's where they close the road to cars anyway and where the Quarter Horse portion of the race ends.  I couldn't believe how many kids we saw doing the Quarter Horse!  Grace was inspired and says she wants to do it.  That will take a lot of training on her part and a lot of eye closing on mine.  

We did the alpine slide a dozen times, a little mini golf, and both girls did the bungee jump trampolines twice.  David caught a shuttle down to the resort from Silverton in early afternoon and met up with us.  He was pretty happy with his time, officially 3:18 and came in 228 out of 1529 riders overall.  (194th or something out of just the men.  I tease him that he let about 34 women beat him.  He says if he could catch the women who pass him he'd dump me and marry one, so watch out.  hahaha...)

(first time both girls have ridden a chair lift together - by themselves)

(Hattie and I racing the alpine slides.)

We were pretty darn proud of the daddy person.  I am impressed with how dedicated he is to his sport and his fitness.  I used to be that dedicated to mine and I know how great that feels and how much it takes (my sport, not my fitness per se.)  He works so hard to road ride to work for general fitness and practice and then works overtime to get in recreational rides and mountain biking after work and on the weekends.  He works hard to maintain his bikes too and squeezes every ounce of working order out of his equipment that he can.  He has over 12000 miles on his current road bike.  Sheesh.  I hate even driving that much.  He's pretty cool.

p.s.  I re-read this post.  It sounds like a lot of bragging and "don't you wish you had..."  stuff.  I hate braggy blogs and self-righteous people.  I really apologize if it to came off that way.  It's just how I'm feeling lately - that I have a really great marriage and an awesome husband.  I have friends ask me more than once a month, how it is that I can "let" David do all these things all the time.  I also have people ask how David "lets" me do what I do.  Or how I "get" him to stay home with the kids or "get" him to help with chores.  I have to say, it has been a long journey.  Our marriage hasn't always been sunshine and rainbows and we have had our share of jealousies, resentments, and eye-rolling, accompanied by hurt feelings and unfairness.  But, sometime in the last few years, we hit an even stride and started "letting" each other have a life without requiring even-steven payback.  It came naturally and we really didn't set out for it, but recognized what worked when it did.  We have come to realize that having our own lives and identities actually make our marriage and our family stronger.  It makes us happier when we are together, and fulfilled when we aren't, to know that the other one isn't left behind wishing we weren't doing what we are doing, or watching the clock and cursing every minute we are gone.  Every marriage is different, but this is what works for us.  So, I guess I kind of wrote what I wrote to answer all the questions I get asked about how we let each other have these things in our lives without resentment.  The answer is, we just do.