I won the battle of the sleep

At least I think I did...
Our family had not slept through the night since Christmas, literally. So at the beginning of February after one particularly terrible night, we decided we'd had enough. I read every message board on the net, looked up the super nanny web-site and watched her videos and went upstairs the next night with a half dozen different techniques to try.

Our main sleep issues were: Grace is almost 5 years old and still required a person to sit by her on her bed until she fell fast asleep. Most nights this only took a few minutes, but sometimes up to an hour. This, we decided, had to go. Then, she had been getting up multiple times a night and yelling "mommy" and waiting for someone to go to her door and tell her that she could come get in bed with us.

Hattie had an exhausting "planets aligned" routine that often fell apart after much time spent and had to start over. It was taking a good hour to put her down for a nap and for bed-time. Then, she was getting up multiple times a night too and getting in our bed and not sleeping after that.

What do you do? Well, after reading the message boards, I've decided that there are few 2 year olds in America who actually do sleep. Still, it's no consolation that other parents are walking zombies too. You still want to sleep!

So, we tried everything from sitting in Hattie's room until she fell asleep to putting her back in bed and leaving and shutting the door (sometimes 35 times a night each time she woke up before it worked.) I tried the super nanny sit by her bed and then the next night move closer to the door and then the next night to the door and then eventually out of the room. This did not work well either. We tried locking her door from the outside (THIS WAS SO MEAN!!!!! David wanted to do it and I didn't, but I got desperate enough one night to try it.) She wouldn't stay in her bed and fell asleep in front of her door on the floor. Then, I tried putting a baby gate over the door with the door open. Still wouldn't stay in bed and would bring her blankie to the gate and put her head on the gate and wait for me to come back.

All this went on and on for nights. Finally, I won the battle of wills and she would stay in her bed if I stood near the doorway. She has a bathroom connected to her bedroom that you have to walk through to get to the bedroom. Eventually I just moved into the bathroom where she couldn't see me and each time she got out of bed to find me or I could hear her sitting up, I would go in, lay her back down and say "time for bed" and walk back to the bathroom. After many many nights of this, she finally started staying in her bed, but cried when I left and wanted to sit up and wait for me, so I just kept saying from the bathroom "time for bed." After a couple of weeks, I only have to do this once from the bathroom and now I can walk out and shut the bathroom door. She still won't let me shut the bedroom door, but I can go back in later and shut it so that I can use the bathroom at night! I haven't been able to use that bathroom in the middle of the night forever.

Then, she was still getting up in the middle of the night. Same thing over and over - time for bed, time for bed. Until, yes, I can't believe it, she went to bed and slept through the night last night without one complaint! YES!!!!!!!!!!

As for Grace, she is just plain scared of the dark. David bought the girls a set of new cool LED night lights. 6 of them. Hattie has 2 in her room and one in the bathroom and Grace has 3 in her room plus a really bright night light behind her bed to light up the dark corner that scares her in the middle of the night. I finally convinced her that she could fall asleep if I turned off her light, left her door open, and walked across the hall to my room with my light on. I've been doing a lot of reading waiting for them to fall asleep. It was taking so long, but now I don't have time to read much. I walk across the hall, put my jammies on and by the time I'm done Grace is asleep and I can shut her door and move on. She's also sleeping through the night too - last night was the very first night that BOTH of them have gone to bed and SLEPT ALL NIGHT!!!! Seriously, this is the biggest victory for me.

I am also well aware that this may not and probably will not last forever. Something will mess it up. Like, say, going on a trip this week for 2 weeks and sleeping in different rooms and beds!!! I know I'm toast. But at least now I know I can win. I wasn't so sure before. I have been through these sleeping things many times before, but never felt like I really won the battle of wills. I've decided there is no easy answer or formula. Each kid is so different and has their own set of little issues that you just have to keep trying different things and be willing to not give up. It has taken 4 weeks of pretty much no sleep to solve the problem and get one complete night of sleep, and YES, it was worth it!