I have very recently been reminded of one of the reasons I have chosen to remain a "stay-at-home" mom even though I rarely have kids in the house now, and let's face it - I rarely can be found actually at home.
I had such an anxiety attack when Harriet went to kindergarten. I really felt an identity crisis and wondered if I should really go back to work or find a new career or at least try to make a little extra money somehow while the kids were at school. I've definitely been a "working mom" before, whether working part or full time. I worked when they were both babies and through the toddler years, and felt a little crazy not doing it when I didn't even have any kids at home anymore. I've always loved working, why wouldn't I do it now that I have the time? It seemed that no matter how I thought about it, I always came back to the conclusion that I wasn't going to try to find a job of any size or kind.
The past 2 weeks, I have found myself, literally, staying at home with my kids - 24/7. We had the visitation of a very nasty virus (thank you, kindergarten child, for sharing.) Harriet got sick first, missed 3 days of school before the weekend hit, and then Grace picked it up JUST as Harriet was getting better and missed 4 days of school the next week. Even though it was a huge inconvenience to stay home and cancel my 50 things I had planned for both weeks, it was really great to not feel much of a responsibility to anyone or anything else but my kids. (with the exception of Cowboy Max... I did have to cancel on Galloping Grace a few too many times and felt horribly guilty and bad about that.) But, despite my guilty feelings, I think the rest is what keeps me from working right now. I love being available to my girls at the drop of a hat. I really do. It kind of feels even more important now that they ARE gone from the house for most of the day - that when they DO need mom, I'm there. I am really glad that my number one job is "Mom" and that nothing eclipses that or pulls me in the opposite direction. I feel very grateful and lucky that David does make enough to make ends meet and that we are both in agreement that the "extras" just aren't worth it for us. I'm not saying I won't leave room to adjust things later, but for now, this feels right.
Well anyway, it was super sweet to open the hand-made gifts and cards from my kids this morning that they mostly made at school or church. There's nothing like reading what your kids really think about you - that they've written all by themselves. It's such a bonus that they still seem like they really love you even after just spending more than a week at home with you when everyone has been sick, ill-tempered, and short on sleep and patience.
Harriet wrote a card by herself at home and one at school. They read:
but For mom,
mad by Harriet
my deer
mom
you are
so much
much
nis you
are the
best mom
and
Happy Mother's Day
You are the best.
(complete with portrait of Harriet and me holding hands in the sunshine)
I am really touched by the efforts that her teachers put into helping the kids make great gifts. They took pictures of the kids, helped them make frames, floral arrangements of silk flowers in handmade vases, and a darling paper teacup with a real tea bag inside. I've been in class when they do big projects like that - it's not for the weak.
Grace had an assignment at school to write me a letter. It's laminated in a big card. She drew a horse, a saddle, and a riding helmet on the front:
Dear Mom,
I hope you're having a great Mother's Day. You are the best mom! You take care of me when I'm sick, you, volunteer at school. You're awesome! When I said that you deserved a Coke I really meant it. You are the best mom in the world! Love, Grace
She also made me a coupon list at church today:
Mom,
Have the best Mother's Day ever!
You are awesome
Cupons
1. 1 free coke (I will buy)
2. 1 free muschue (massage)
3. 1 free bike ride with me
4. 1 free coconut lotion (I will buy)
5. 1 free day of dog sitting
all good till 5/14/13
To give a little background on Grace's letters: I took Grace and Harriet to the pharmacy on Wednesday night, when David was out of town, to restock the medicines. I was buying ginger ale for both of them because it seems to be nice to drink when you're sick. We really don't drink pop anymore at our house, so it either has to be a special occasion or you have to be sick to get one. We were walking down the drink aisle and I thought out-loud to myself "oh man, a Coke sounds so great right now!" I hadn't slept much in days and the sugar and caffeine rush was very tempting. I rarely drink it anymore because it really makes me sick, but I do love it. I think Grace was feeling bad that she had been driving me crazy all day and begged me to just get one - maybe hoping it would put mom in a better mood. I resisted and told her it was fine. But, it must have made an impression on her that a Coke sounded really good to me. How sweet of her to want me to have one.
The other reasons that her letters are really sweet is that she does not part with her money willingly. She loves to save it for big things she has her eye on, so for her to offer to buy me something is pretty cool. The fact that she offered to buy me coconut lotion is even more incredible. This kid HATES the smell of coconut. If I do use the coconut lotion I have, she shrinks away, gags, tells me to go wash it off, begs me not to use it, tells me she can smell it from downstairs, etc. So, it's true love from my 3rd grader to have her offer me all these things - all on her own.
Bottom line. I love these girls and I'm super grateful to be their mom and I hope I can do the job justice so that when they are grown I haven't ruined the awesome human beings that they are right now. Thanks kiddos for such great Mother's Day presents. They are perfect. I love you, you little stinkers!
Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms I know.
No matter how you do your job, it's a big one;
I'm grateful for all you do to help me do mine too.
1 comment:
I think you do your job very well! I love your take on life. Miss you!
Post a Comment