First Day of Kindergarten

It has come. My first child's first day of school. I have completely ignored that it was coming all summer. I didn't do much to prepare. I did buy the required school supplies, and I did order the cutest collection of school clothes that Grace would let me buy (all blue and tan - many horsey shirts - and some blue suede mary jane shoes with horses on them), but other than that, I have put it out of my mind. It felt natural, something that I knew was coming for a long time, and it's just school, right?

Well, Sunday night in bed, I had a panic attack. It sunk in. I'm sending my gorgeous little girl off to a place where I won't see her, to be in the care of a government institution, letting her travel on a bus with a driver I don't know, (I have yet to let her ride in a car with any non-family member) and it's really the beginning of something that is going to continue until she moves out of my house and isn't mine anymore. I really freaked out that I had let it build up without thinking it through. I didn't do much to prepare her either. Well, of course, we talk about it all the time and she's totally excited and we went to orientation in the spring. I guess that's all you really can do. It seems like I should have done more though - to prepare for such a huge day?

Well, even up until bed-time last night, I didn't do anything! We were out on errands and had a late dinner and went to get ice cream at Erikson's. We came home and had a speed bath and started to bed. I realized I hadn't asked Grace to do her name tag that came in the mail (weeks ago) that she was supposed to decorate for the first day. I didn't have her snack and backpack ready, and we really didn't know what she was even going to wear. How unprepared am I??? I was really in denial. I know I put it off on purpose subconsciously.Well, all went well this morning. Luckily, school started an hour late this morning and no bus, so Grace got to sleep late one more time. We packed her backpack, she did do her name tag before bed, we didn't fight too much over what she would wear after I promised she could wear anything she wants to school every Friday. I didn't do her hair. I still want to be able to control her clothes a bit, but I've completely given up the hair. She even ate her breakfast this morning which is something she either does not do, or doesn't do until about 11am.

Then, David told her that he wanted to give her a blessing. This is something totally foreign to me. My dad couldn't do those kinds of blessings, so growing up, we never had them. My friends always talked about their "back-to-school blessings." I'm glad my kids can have them. I think David kind of procrastinated his freaking out too. He got pretty choked up giving her the blessing. Plus, school is a really big deal for him. (not that it isn't for me... but...) He has lived most of his life so far in school and is extremely devoted to education and higher learning. I think he was pretty proud to be sending his little girl off to her first day.

So, the actual first day of kindergarten here was a little weird. Parents were required to come and stay for the whole time. David has been so great to earnestly try to be part of our kids' lives. He always takes time off work to go to things at school or whatever they are doing. This morning, he stayed home with us and took Grace to school with me. Hattie came too (we weren't supposed to bring her, but really didn't have another option of leaving her somewhere.) We pulled up and walked up to the front of the school to wait for the teachers to come out. Mrs. Keough came out with a big butterfly for the kids to follow. They followed her into the classroom, hung up their backpacks, and sat on the floor for the morning meeting. Grace's nerves and natural desire to be the center of attention got the best of her. She raised her hand often even if she had nothing to say. She blurted out answers, interjected comments, and looked like she was so excited to make sure everyone knew she was there that she might explode. We just sat in the back with snide, knowing smiles and a few chuckles.

Mrs. Keough read a story about first day jitters that ended up being about a TEACHER who was sick to her stomach about the first day of school. It was a book after my own heart. I got nauseous every time the school calendar rolled around both as a teacher and a student. It has continued as a parent.

Then, we were excused for a parent's meeting and the kids had the rest of their first day. When we picked up Grace at 11:30, she looked a little unsure and weepy. She wasn't terribly happy on her way home and all through lunch. I stared to think that she didn't have such a good time. Finally, it came out, that she was terribly sad that she didn't get to stay for the whole day. WHEW!

Thursday will be our first REAL BIG DAY of school. She actually doesn't have school tomorrow because the other half of kindergarten is doing their "first day thing." On Thursday, the bus will pick her up in front of our house at 8am. (I think I will be sick then too.) She has wanted to ride the school bus since she could say so, and probably before. So, I hope that it is just the absolute best day for her.