We've been married 11 years

Yep, that's right folks, more than a decade. I've been married more than a third of my life. I've been married longer than I went to any school, had any job, and lived in any house. Weird. But, I guess not so weird when I can't remember much what it was like to not have David.

Yesterday was actually our 11th anniversary. Let's see, we woke up in the morning separated by both of our kids in bed having only slept a couple of hours. This is how life changes. We scarcely remember the days when we might stay in bed as long as we wanted without having to get up to help someone go potty, get someone else "apple juice please" or even to let dogs out. We've had dogs almost since the second year of being married. Velvet, our senior dog, still asks us "why did we get a dog," and "don't you think we have enough kids?" I know she misses our undivided attention.

Even though we can hardly remember the times of just being together, alone, we wouldn't trade our life for anything. We did have 6 years together before having kids and I am grateful for that. We sorted out a lot of differences in those years and I think we went into parenthood much more united and ready for being unselfish.

If you watch the TV sitcom " 'til Death" like we do, you know that in every relationship there is a gardener and a flower. Actually we love that episode because we can't ever figure out which of us is the gardener and which is the flower. We both work pretty hard and we're both pretty independent. We finally decided that we are indigenous species who don't need gardeners. We bloom on our own and put our work to other uses. Much more productive that way and for 2 type A, scientific personalities like we are, then, this is the best policy. This isn't to say that we don't look after each other, but it isn't one sided and if we have to, we can make do on our own.

I think we both really appreciate that about each other - that the other is ok and we don't have the added stress or pressure of catering to the other person. We do it when we want to and because we want to, not because we have to. For me, I am so appreciative of the things David does to help me. It's the little things that score big points. Like, he will get up, get ready for work, and do the dishes and clean the kitchen before he leaves. I'm still in bed - sleeping at least an hour later than he does because I've stayed up late working or been up all night with kids. But, he knows that my day will be so much better if I come down the stairs and don't see the dirty kitchen staring at me to start the day, so he does it just to be nice. He will stay home all day on Saturday or at night during the week to watch the kids so that I can do what I want and need to do. All the while, he is turning down other fun things, or not doing what he really needs to do.

I love that we are so real with each other. A couple of weeks ago, he asked me "so what kind of gifts are we doing for our anniversary, so that we're on the same page?" I said, well, I was kind of thinking.... nothing? He laughed and said "great! that's the best!" Actually, though, I came up with one small gift, more of a joke than anything, that I had to give him. I gave him a new toaster. We did not get a toaster in our giant pile of wedding gifts 11 years ago. When my grandma found out, she dug what was then a 20 year old toaster out of her basement and gave it to us. We were sure we'd get our own soon, but it would do in the mean-time. Well, 11 years later, and we still have grandma's 30 year old toaster on our counter. It still "works" which is to say it gets hot, but it has seen it's day. So, I gave him a brand new slick looking toaster. He was totally excited! Really, it doesn't take much to make us happy.

David wrote me a letter. A really really nice letter. I would put it here, but I think it's just for me. Just know that this guy can really do some sweet talking and make you feel like you are his whole world. I guess I am. Lucky me. Lucky us.
Happy Anniversary Babe.