For the past 3 years, we have used the school talent show to be a "finale" or recital of sorts. It's usually one of the last days of school and is a great gathering of students and parents. Grace has always been in it and Harriet made it last year too.
This year, both girls had really great acts planned for try-outs. Grace had been planning hers since school started in August. She plotted which song she would learn on the guitar. Sometime around Thanksgiving, she had DJ teach start teaching it to her. It was really long and complicated, so it took a few months to get through the whole thing, and then she spent the ENTIRE spring in lessons and practice, preparing to play "Alive" by Pearl Jam for the Talent Show. It sounded amazing. She is incredibly talented. She had no doubt she would get to end 5th grade on that note. She put on her favorite flannel, plugged in her electric guitar, and even switched back and forth between distortions on the amp mid-perfomance. She was awesome!
(stay tuned for video)
She did not make it.
(stay tuned for video)
Harriet wanted to play piano to do something different from Grace. She practiced her "White Horse" by Taylor Swift, until she had it down perfectly. She even turned the pages of the music without a pause in her playing. She was so confident, and so ready and, so talented, especially for her age.
I think it was really the first time in her life that Grace was truly rejected. Harriet has had her turn with rejection several times already in school, but Grace never gets turned away. It was SO painful. She cried for days. She was SO mad. They give the kids their "letters" at the end of the school day on Friday. I dreaded picking them up from the bus. I knew I would know by their faces, which letter they had been handed. Harriet got off with a sad stoic face. I knew she didn't make it. I knew it would have been an uphill battle for her. 7 other kids also tried out with a piano piece. Hers wasn't the best of them. I was realistic. I was prepared for it.
But, Grace. Grace had the BEST, most talented act of all of them. She was a FIFTH grader. Her last chance! Surely, she didn't meet the same fate. My first thought when I saw Harriet was that I was going to have to spend the next 3 weeks extinguishing her jealous-sister flames.
Then, Harriet shook her head and quietly whimpered, "Poor Grace - she didn't make it either." Then, I saw Grace. She was on FIRE. Her face was red and wet, her hair wild. She had her rejection letter in her hands crumpled into a teeny tiny ball. She got off the bus and stormed to the house without a word. She threw open the door, and took off her shoes and threw them hard at the wall. She screamed, she wailed, she ripped up her rejection letter into as many pieces as she could as she shrieked "LIES, LIES, it's all LIES!!!!!" (referring to the "we loved your act, but were so very sorry that we couldn't include you in the talent show" spiel.)
She knew she was the best. She wasn't being arrogant. She was right. She SHOULD have made it. I had countless parents, students, and teachers voice that same opinion over and over during the coming weeks. No one could BELIEVE she didn't make it. She rocked the audition.
People kept suggesting to me that I demand to know why she didn't make it, to ask for the judging sheets and rubrics. I thought about it, but then David reminded me of a couple of stories when we found out why we were rejected for this or that and I remembered... sometimes, it's better to not know. Knowing makes it even worse.
So much for ending the year with a bang and a solo rock concert and being at the top of the elementary school world. Unfortunately, Grace got to end her year with a rough introduction to the real world, where sometimes, even if you ARE the best and the most deserving and the clear choice, you are not accepted. Man it sucks. I'm glad her first taste of it was at least in elementary school. I'm so heart-broken that it had to be over her final talent show. Sometimes, world, you suck!
(Is it pure evil, that I was slightly, microscopically relieved that we removed the talent show from our list of things to do in May? Fine, I'm evil.) Actually, I was most relieved that I didn't have one make it and one not.
We were not in the talent show. Wasn't that a great talent show post?! Ha! And you thought I was going to brag about my kids. Maybe in the next post.
Okay, I will brag a bit. I am super proud of both of them for (eventually) accepting what happened and moving on without being too bitter. I am also extremely proud of them for developing their talents and for being so willing to share them with others. I am incredibly proud of them for trying out and being so brave. I look up to them all of the time.
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